100 Days of Adrian

Posted on November 24, 2020 · 1 min read

The Baby in Chief, Adrian James Blackburn, addressed the Congress of Toys for his State of the Apartment speech after 100 days in existence. Adrian, of course, wore the ceremonial Baby Yoda knitted cap, an age-old tradition dating back 14 days when it was handcrafted by the “Mother of the Apartment” during her months-long period of captivity.

Adrian’s most ardent supporter, Pacifier Giraffe (affectionately known as PG), was in attendance along with both members of the Quackers Coalition. Representatives from the Pirate Pals Party and The Moooovement were also in attendance. The dean of the Congress, Tim the Beaver, was front and center; and, the newest member of Congress, Stripe Llama, was stickered just in time to be seated for the address.

The state of the apartment is overall positive. The threat of flooding from drool and spit-up have been a problem in the leadup to the address, but the administration seems to have it mostly under control. The Baby in Chief did address the budget as expected. Controversially, his administration has operated under a deficit. He reiterated his refusal to raise revenues by getting a job, citing a desire to stay home and play. The global pandemic has put a damper on the Baby in Chief’s childcare policy, but he reassured the Congress that daycare tours would resume this week—today in fact—in an effort to get the plan back on track to meet goals for January.

The Baby in Chief ended his speech by slouching in his chair and spitting up on those in the front row, before crying himself to sleep.